What's Next?

Black and Gold Superbowl

2010-01-26T18:57:00.001-06:00

The Big Apple

2009-10-03T12:26:00.002-05:00

Just got back from NYC. What an incredible trip. I did not want to leave. We managed to do almost everything in 9 days. The pictures can be found here

NYC

A few highlights for me were the Broadway play "Jersey Boys", hanging out in Central Park, and the view from the top of the Empire State Building. We are already planning another trip!

Now off to watch the LSU/Georgia game! Geaux Tigers!!!!

Quick Summary

2009-08-24T14:05:00.006-05:00

Went to the Hot Air Balloon festival. Saw balloons, fireworks and men jumping out planes.

Went to the first Saints home preseason game. They won!

Was driving around looking at houses and saw this buck (along with a doe) chilling out in someone's front yard in White Oak Landing.

The weather has been awesome so the top is off the jeep!

A year

2009-08-02T11:03:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was the year anniversary of Shane's passing. I have dreaded this day as I dread all "milestone" days. The guys approached me with ideas a few weeks ago, and in the end we decided on a bbq at my house with the entire gang. It turned out to be quite an event and it was great to catch up with everyone. It's not often all of us can get together at the same time.
So to be honest, I really enjoyed yesterday which I'm sure is what Shane would have wanted.

I can't believe it's been a year, although alot of times, it seems like it's been much longer.

Guns!

2009-07-27T14:57:00.006-05:00

2 weeks ago the 4 of us went out to shoot guns. Shane taught me everything there is to know about my pistol and I think the guys were impressed that I didn't require any of their help throughout the day. They were also impressed by what a good shot I am.

We goofed around all day (being extra safe of course). Here are some videos and pictures of us acting like fools.

Fun!

2009-07-24T09:38:00.003-05:00

I stole this from Heather again, who always has cool stuff on her blog.

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title.

I'm gonna go with the band CAKE.

Are you Male or Female?
Daria

Describe Yourself:
Short skirt/Long jacket

How Do You Feel?
I Will Survive

Where Do You Live?
Mexico

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
The Distance

Favorite Form Of Transportation?
Stick Shifts and Safety Belts

Your Best Friend?
Frank Sinatra

Describe you and your best friends:
Race Car Ya-Yas

Describe The Weather:
It's Coming Down

Favorite Time Of Day?
Shadow Stabbing

If they made a TV show of your life, what would they call it?
Sheep go to Heaven

What is life to you?
Rock n Roll Lifestyle

Describe an ex-relationship:
Love you Madly

Describe your current relationship:
Friend is a Four Letter Word

Describe your job:
Comfort Eagle

Your Fear?
Satan is My Motor

How would you like to die?
End of the Movie

What is the state of your soul right now?
Waiting

Best Advice?
Shut the Fuck Up

Thought Of The Day:
Jesus Wrote a Blank Check

Motto:
Thrills

Good laugh. My friends after a crabbing trip.

2009-07-13T18:15:00.001-05:00

Just for fun

2009-06-29T18:13:00.003-05:00

I don't post much on here anymore since I've become addicted to Facebook. But I saw this on Heather's blog and I'm stealing it b/c it looks fun.

10 things i like right now:

* working part time
* abita beer
* rain
* lsu tiger baseball
* flip flops
* my new vinyl
* laughing
* my buddies
* making homeade ice cream
* sushi

10 things i do not like right now:

* the heat
* dog hair
* crazy people
* paying bills
* the price of gas
* the pathetic gas mileage of my jeep
* weeds in my flowerbeds
* cancer
* mosquitoes
* the terrible "popular" music on the radio these days

10 things i do not care about right now:

* politics
* what people think of me
* dead celebrities
* pleasing people
* my uncut grass
* twitter
* golf
* j & k + 8
* being on time
* the dishes in the sink

Dancing Choose...

2009-05-16T14:28:00.003-05:00

Went and saw TV On The Radio last night at the House of Blues. It was an incredible show!!!!!
That's all for now. Taking it easy today. Not used to staying up so late. Getting old! haha

To all the mothers...

2009-05-10T08:31:00.000-05:00

Goodbye to the fish?

2009-05-08T21:44:00.002-05:00

Some of you may recall that about a year and a half ago, Shane and I purchased a 70gal salt water aquarium. It became a huge hobby of Shane's and turned out to be a beautiful addition to the house.
BUT,
I'm at a point now where I'm thinking of getting rid of it. I have been going back and forth on this for quite awhile.
For one, I am not nearly educated enough in the care and maintenance of the tank...I'm surprised I made it this far. For those of you that don't know, a salt water aquarium is ALOT of work. It requires ALOT of money and ALOT of time.

Working out of town has really made it difficult to care for.
Just FYI, heres a few things that go into the care and maintenance of the tank.

1. To keep the water condition in good shape, you have to do weekly water changes. This entails "making" 12 gallons of salt water a week (using a filter system I have set up in the bathroom and using some special expensive salt - the same filter that flooded both my laundry room and my bathroom/bedroom!). I then have to siphon 12 gallons of water out of the tank and replace it with this new water. That's once a week. If I dont do this, the water parameters get out of whack and bad things start happening (algae growing out of control, coral dying, etc).
2. The water in the tank evaporates quickly, so every 3 days or so I have to add fresh water that I've made to the tank. If I dont do this, the pumps become exposed and can burn up. This has been very difficult to do now that I'm working out of town half the week.
3. The fish and coral have to be fed every couple of days. Each fish/coral eats something different so that gets expensive fast.
4. The "skimmer" has to be emptied about once a week or so. If I forget to do this, it will overflow onto the floor and it smells like ass!
5. About 10 different chemicals/additives have to be added to the tank every few days. These aren't cheap either. To make sure I add the right amounts, I used a water test kit to check all the parameters. It's like doing a chemistry experiment!
6. The light bulbs have to be replaced about every 6 months too. That runs a couple hundred bucks.

Also, I'm not equipped to deal with power outages and other emergencies. Keeping it alive during Gustav was probably the most stressful time ever!

And I want to redo the floors in my living room and moving the tank is gonna take an act of congress!

I'm not trying to bitch, just weigh out the pros and cons.

The pros are that it really is beautiful and can be mesmerizing to stare at for hours. I can see why Shane loved it so much and I'm sure he felt rewarded by all his hard work. I also like having it here b/c it reminds me of Shane and I know how much he loved it.
I'm just getting to a point where I dont have the money or time (working out of town) to care for it.

I'm gonna think long and hard about this though, b/c I dont want to regret it.

Decisions, decisions. =(

Done

2009-05-03T20:47:00.003-05:00

My bedroom is complete (minus a few touchups needed on the molding and baseboards). It took forever, but it was so worth it. Now I've got to get started on the rest of the house.

I just searched my computer for a pic of my room before the remodel..but I can't find one..just know this looks way better!

Time

2009-05-01T18:38:00.003-05:00

So today makes nine months that Shane is gone. I've said this before..it's strange b/c sometimes it seems like just yesterday but other times it seems like another lifetime ago. I guess it's because my life has changed so much and in turn, I have changed.
A good friend told me this morning that the strength I've shown throughout this ordeal is an inspiration. That made me feel so good. I definately feel like a tougher person after going through the cancer battle with Shane and getting through his death. If anything, Shane taught me to live life to the fullest and that's what I've been doing...and it makes me happy. Sure, some people will judge me, but obviously those people didn't know Shane very well b/c if they did, they'd know he'd want me (and all his family and friends) to be living it up, not moping around.

Aside from being the 9 month mark, today also marks a year that Maxwell passed away. He was the coolest dog ever and if it weren't for him, I probably would have never given in to Shane about getting Maggie. I was always a cat person, but Max definately proved that dogs are far superior!

Ok, now in my quest to be more positive/happy and less gloomy/sappy, here's a video I took the other day of Jacob and I flying his recently purchased stunt kite!

PIGS!!!!!!!

2009-04-28T09:47:00.000-05:00

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

Snoutbreak '09 - The Last 100 Days

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Economic Crisis

Political Humor

Jazzfest '09

2009-04-26T12:01:00.002-05:00

Made it back from Jazzfest.
So tired, sunburnt and just worn out. We had a great time, saw lots of great music and had great food, but we'll all need a few days to recover!

Monday, Monday

2009-04-20T12:21:00.003-05:00

My furniture is being delivered tomorrow morning! Yay! I'm very excited except now I want to go buy all kinds of new stuff for my room.

Heard from the world traveler today. He's been gone a little over 2 weeks. So far, he's seen (if I can remember all the places), London, France, Germany, Venice and he just boarded a ferry to Athens Greece. Wow.
Chris and I are bored to death without him and then Chris gets sent to TX for work! Boo to the max! All my entertainment is gone..not to mention Jacob is offshore.
However, this weekend is Jazzfest and Jacob will be in and we will be heading to New Orleans to see lots of music, but particularly Lucas who is playing with his zydeco band on Saturday morning. How fun and exciting. Chris is hoping to get off that weekend so he can join us.

Hmmmm, what else to say. Well, the Hornets lost big time last night. I blame Brian b/c I think he's becoming "one of them" and by that, I mean a Nugget fan. Boo Brian! Next thing you know he'll be cheering for the Broncos!

New stuff!

2009-04-18T20:21:00.004-05:00

Today I went and bought new furniture for my bedroom. This is what it looks like.I even splurged on a new mattress! They'll be delivering all of it on Tuesday. I can't wait.
And yes, my floors are finished (for the most part) so as soon as its all put together, I'll take a picture of my new room! Now I need to find a new bedspread!

.

2009-04-14T08:08:00.004-05:00

Today would have been Shane and I's 2nd anniversary. I could get all sad and sappy and think about how our time together was cut short but I know Shane wouldn't want that. Instead, I'd rather think(and smile and laugh) about all the great times we had together.
Yes, one year of marriage sounds dreadfully sad, but it's not b/c Shane and I were together for 13 years! Just because we weren't married doesn't mean those years were any different. I was blessed to be part of his life for that long. So don't feel sorry for me today, instead, just remember something about him today. Something funny!
This picture is from our trip to Rome. Shane was letting me know he didn't like sparkling water. haha

Happy Easter!

2009-04-11T12:00:00.004-05:00

I know it's tomorrow, but wanted to wish everyone a Happy Easter in case I forget.

Bon Voyage!

2009-04-05T10:59:00.003-05:00

Yesterday Chris and I saw Rob off on his European vacation. This was after we stayed up ALL night Friday helping him pack and prepare. When I say all night, I realy mean all night. We did not sleep. I cooked crawfish etoufee at about ten that night. It was his request for his last home cooked meal. At around 7am that morning I heard my neighbor yelling. Ran outside and saw that Maggie had got her head caught in the fence between our yards! She's always ramming her head up against the fence while barking at their dogs and apparently the board can undone and her head slipped through and got caught. My neighbor probably thinks I'm crazy b/c I was acting zombie-like from not having slept. Maggie was fine. I was too exhausted to even fuss at her. She knew she had messed up though bc she stayed out of my way all day.

Dropped Rob off at the airport at 11am yesterday then came back home and crashed. Slept all day and all night!
He made it to London safely and I'm sure will be giving us tons of updates while he's there.

I'm still a little groggy from missing a day of sleep but I'm gonna try to get some stuff done today anyhow.

Best Birthday Ever

2009-03-30T11:13:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I turned 31. Jacob and I agreed that being 31 makes you feel more sophisticated and more intelligent. We'll see about that.

I had a GREAT day. Rob, Jacob and Chris spent the weekend with me. We had Thai food Saturday night and then enjoyed a lazy morning on Sunday. Rob, Jacob and I headed to New Orleans Sunday afternoon for the Hornets game. We got dressed up in our most obnoxious blue and gold clothing and had a hell of a time. We had club seats on the 13th row. Incredible view! They played the Spurs so we even had the luxury of seeing Eva Longoria there. The Hornets won and it was such an exciting game. I took some pictures, but unfortunatley, my camera kept dying so the pictures aren't that great. You can look at them here.
When we got home we watched the game on tv (I had tivo'd it) and sure enough, we were all over the television. Celebrities! haha

Pooped

2009-03-23T10:42:00.003-05:00

What a busy weekend. The weather was so perfect. I had a chance to mow grass, weed some flowerbeds and even wash the jeep. Didn't get to finish all the spring cleaning I wanted to but at least I got a head start.

The Tigers lost to UNC this weekend. Boo to that! But congrats to them for making it as far as they did.

Yesterday I went fishing with Rob and Co. We didnt catch a single thing..but it was such a beautiful day! The dolphins/porpoises (whatever they are!) were out and about yesterday. They would swim right next to the boat and were putting on quiet a show tossing fish to each other. Otto got a little too excited and jumped out the boat to get them. At least he can swim though. If Maggie would have been with us she would have jumped in and sunk straight to the bottom. She cannot swim! Hopefully the dolphins would have brought her back to safety!

Who else seen the leprechaun say "Yeah!"

2009-03-16T19:18:00.007-05:00

Tomorrow is St. Patty's Day. Wear your green and pinch everyone who doesn't.

In celebration of St. Patty's Day, I'm putting my all time favorite you tube videos. Get your leprechaun flute ready!

LSU

2009-03-13T10:27:00.003-05:00

Went to the LSU/ULL game Wed. The Ragin Cajuns beat us in the end but what a fun game!

Today is Jacob's bday! Yay! We'll be going out to dinner tonite and then to watch Lucas' play in his zydeco band. Should be a great time.

Haven't posted lately, mainly bc I dont have anything interesting to say! It's been nice and quiet around here.

Happy Birthday Maggie!

2009-03-02T20:16:00.001-06:00

Today is Maggie's 6th Birthday. We threw her a party. Here are her and Otto in their party hats.

Free Beer!

2009-03-01T18:47:00.005-06:00

Saturday we took a trip to the Abita Brewery. You can't beat free beer. Basically you can drink all the beer you want for free, then you're taken on a 5 min tour, then you get to drink more free beer!
Hannah and Mom came to Baton Rouge on Friday. We went shopping for a prom dress for Hannah and we were very successful. After shopping, Rob, Chris and I treated them to dinner at the Chimes to celebrate my mom's birthday.

Today we went to the movies and saw Slumdog Millionaire. I think we agreed that it gets 2 thumbs up. A really enjoyable film.

Mardi Gras!!

2009-02-25T07:34:00.004-06:00

Instead of going to a parade or doing the typical Mardi Gras activities yesterday, we choose to boil crawfish. Yum.

After stuffing ourselves with crawfish and ice cream, we headed over to the Pmac to watch the LSU Men's basketball team beat Florida. It was an excellent time!

Slam!

2009-02-21T19:56:00.004-06:00

Chris and I went to New Orleans with Brandon and Erald on Friday. We had a terrific time. The weather was perfect and the crowds weren't too crazy. I'll get some pictures from Brandon and post them.

This afternoon, Chris and I had the luxury of accompanying Rob to the LSU/Villanova baseball game; the 2nd game in the new Alex Box. The tickets were fantastic; having a friend in the know definately helped! We sat 3 rows up from the LSU dugout. LSU dominated of course. I took lots of pictures. Slam!

Hearts

2009-02-16T17:15:00.003-06:00

Hope everyone had a nice Valentine's Day. I spent my Vday with the guys. We installed some more flooring and had a crawfish boil. Expensive, but delicious.

I'll be heading to New Orleans at the end of the week for Mardi Gras festivities. Brandon and Erald will be flying in for the fun. Should have lots of good pictures to post by then..

The Future

2009-02-06T10:06:00.002-06:00

The new software for google maps called Latitude is awesome. If you can get it for your cell phone you should. Its so cool.

Latitude!

Basically you can add friends and see where they are at any given moment. Like a tracking device! Right now you can put it on your blackberry or a phone with Windows.

New Look

2009-02-03T08:44:00.001-06:00

I thought I needed a new background for this blog. Those dots just weren't doing the trick. I think I like this one.

Getting back to normal...

2009-01-30T12:41:00.004-06:00

It's been a good week, here's why:

1. I started working again. Sure, it's only part time, but it feels good to be working again and have some sort of schedule, not to mention a paycheck.
2. I'm making home improvements. Redoing my bedroom now with hopes to do alot more in the coming months. This is making my house much more comfortable for me and I'm loving being here.
3. I just renewed my Saints season tickets. Go Saints.
4. The Superbowl is Sunday. We are gonna eat boiled crawfish. Boiled crawfish makes everything better.
5. Taxes. Not something that normally makes people happy, but I just did mine and I'm getting a nice refund. Money is always a good thing.
6. Girl Scout Cookies. I just ordered 5 boxes. I know that's terrible..especially b/c I've been doing so good on my "healthy eating/workout" kick. I think I'll eat my box of Samoas while I run on the treadmill. It'll balance everything out.
7. Vinyl. Got the record player working again and it is such a treat to have!
8. I'm going fishing today. What a gorgeous day to be out on the water!

Nothing New

2009-01-26T10:17:00.002-06:00

Nothing much has been going on lately..so not much to write about. I finally got my flooring in yesterday so hopefully this week we can get it installed and I can move back in to my bedroom. I guess it's time to start shopping for new bedroom furniture!

Maria cooked dinner for us this weekend (me, Jacob, Rob and Chris..and Andre). She made curry with chicken and spring rolls. It was delicious. After we ate we headed to Artmosphere to see Lucas play. We had a good time but got back to my house really late which led to a very lazy day yesterday. That's what the weekends are for though!

A weekend of pictures

2009-01-19T10:50:00.009-06:00

We went to New Orleans this weekend to celebrate Rob's birthday. Here are a few pictures...

We went to the Aquarium & Insectarium

We ate beignets at Cafe du Monde

We rode the streetcar to a Thai restaurant

We went to a record store

We stayed at the W hotel...very nice! We went to the hotel's bar, the Whiskey Blue.
We also hit up Harrahs...didn't win anything but only lost $10.

Sunday we had reservations for brunch at Brennan's. What a treat!
We had escargo (yes, I ate one!)

drank a few Mimosas....had delicious food and finally ended with Banana's Foster.

Shane's Birthday

2009-01-13T11:47:00.002-06:00

Today would have been Shane's 31st birthday. It's hard to believe it's already been 51/2 months. Sometimes I feel like it's been alot longer than that. Time has definately been flying by.
Today has been ok so far. I definately have found that as time goes by things get easier. I'll always miss him but the physical pain of missing him is gone and what's left behind is much more bearable. I imagine I'll always feel that way and I think I'm learning to live with that. When everything first happened, lots of people tried to tell me that....that things don't necessarily get better, they just change and you learn to live with it. I wouldn't have believed it then but now I know it to be true. Sure, certain days and events will be worse than others, but I know that Shane would want me to be happy. I'm trying my best to do that for him.

Go Fish

2009-01-05T18:27:00.005-06:00

Me, Jacob and Rob went fishing yesterday at Lake Maurepas. We didn't catch a single thing but we did get to eat some good fish at Middendorf's.

I had another little mishap at the house. My fish tank requires that I make purified water to put in the tank. the water runs from the bathroom sink, through a filter, into a canister. I always forget about it and have flooded that room many times. Apparently the other day it was bad. All of the carpet in my bedroom closet is wet. My house smells like an old gym. So I moved all the furniture out and have decided to remodel. I'm going to rip out all the carpet and put laminate flooring. Ugh. Not gonna be fun, but my house smells like ass.

Texas

2009-01-02T09:36:00.002-06:00

I finally made it back from Austin. What a great trip! I had been there once before for a quick weekend but never for this long. There is so much to do there. What a great city. The 3 of us had a blast and I have no doubts now about our trip to NYC at the end of the summer.

Overall, this holiday season was so much better than I expected. I kept busy enough that I kept the depression/sadness to a minimum.

I could go on and on about our trip...so much funny stuff happened. It would take me days to write it all out. Let's just say, we ate excellent food, had excellent drinks, hiked more miles than I have in my lifetime, had run ins with the homeless and the cops (all went smoothly though), and just had a badass time.

I have some of the pictures posted here.

New Years Eve was fun too. What a game for the Tigers! I have to admit, I had lost hope, but here's to a great season next year. As for me, I know that this year will be better than last. I hope everyone had a safe and happy New Year's.

Santa

2008-12-25T18:25:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas!

I'm just getting home after a nice few days in Kaplan. Visited with Shane's family and my own and had a good time.

About to start packing for Austin...leaving bright and early!

San Diego

2008-12-18T12:24:00.004-06:00

Just getting back from San Diego. It was amazing. I want to live there!

The trip back was a pain in the ass thanks to rain and fog. I made it back late, at a different airport than I was supposed to be and without my luggage. But that's my only complaint for the whole trip. Luckily Rob and Chris are the greatest and drove to New Orleans to pick me up at 10pm. They also cleaned my house while I was gone. What great buddies.

Brandon and Erald are excellent hosts and I had the BEST time. It was a much needed vacation.

Pictures here.

Next stop...Austin (next week!)

3 Whole Inches....(that's what she said)

2008-12-11T10:30:00.003-06:00

More pictures here

Expedia dot com

2008-12-07T09:03:00.003-06:00

So yes, the $40 steak was worth every penny. As was the lobster ravioli, crabmeat au gratin and the desserts. Delicious.

Rob, Chris and I were pretty spontaneous this weekend, and out of the blue decided to plan a trip to NYC. We decided on September '09 for 8 days (Chris' Bday falls during that time). So we went ahead and booked airfare and got it for fairly cheap.
Then we decided on a weekend in New Orleans for Rob's Bday in January and for my bday in March, the guys are taking me to the Hornet/Spurs game.

We totally went overboard but I am so excited. We are quickly becoming some serious travelers....I've got California next week, Austin the week after, New Orleans in January, New Orleans in March and NYC in September. So excited!!!

Now I'm off to the Saints game. Go Saints!!

Home Sweet Home

2008-12-05T15:19:00.002-06:00

Well after going back and forth on this for months, I've finally made a decision about my house. I'm going to stay in Baton Rouge! I guess I just need some time away from the house but now things have gotten alot better. I'm glad I didn't make any decisions early on b/c I know I would have regretted it. I love my house and I really love Baton Rouge. I've been in Baton Rouge for almost 13 years now and it feels more like home than Kaplan or Lafayette. Maggie is happy too b/c she gets her big yard back although she will miss my parents dog Ralphie.
The plan is that Hannah will move in with me after graduation and attend LSU. We get along great and I know she'll be a good roommate. I'm actually pretty excited about it.
I'm still going to be taking the job in Abbeville. It's 2-3 days a week and only for about 6 months. I'm going to stay with my parents and Maria on those days. I think it will be a good transition back into working.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. Rob and I are going to Primo's tonite b/c I have a gift card that's about to expire. I'll let you know how those $40 steaks are tomorrow! (crazy huh?)

2008-12-01T18:01:00.002-06:00

Thanksgiving was nice...ate lots of food and had lots of drinks. Made it through that day fine. Had a great weekend which included some depressing football but it was still fun none-the-less. Today I went shopping and decided to put up Xmas decorations. I've been debating whether or not to put things up so I decided to put up a few decorations but no tree. It wasn't as depressing as I thought it would be. I even managed to make some bows! Handmade from what I learned in my florist class.
Another big step I made was going through some of Shane's things. I managed to go through almost all of his clothes. I separated it into stuff I wanted to keep for myself and stuff to give to family and friends. He had alot of clothes! I have bags and boxes everywhere.

Well, I'm going cook now. Yes, I'm cooking.

Oh and Happy Birthday Kerry!

Turkey!

2008-11-26T21:55:00.003-06:00

I am so looking forward to taking it easy tomorrow. I have not stopped moving since last Thursday. What a crazy weekend. We ate, drank, played the wii and just did not sleep all weekend long. We managed to make it to the Saints game Monday on time and it was fantastic....probably the best game this season. Only 2 more home games to go though =(

I have so much going on right now. I love it and it's helping me to get through the holidays easier. I knew this holiday season would be rough, but so far so good. I find if I stay busy, things are so much better. So in 2 weeks I'll be leaving for San Diego to visit Brandon & Erald. I'm super excited to see them AND I've never been to California. The day after Xmas I will be embarking on a road trip to Austin with Rob & Chris (and possibly Jacob). That should be something else! I can only imagine what that will be like. Then in January I start my new part time job. So the next few weeks will be super busy, especially with Xmas jammed in there somewhere AND New Years (which I plan on celebrating big time).

One more thing. Although I have had the shittiest year imaginable, I still can find some things to be thankful for. So tomorrow be thankful and eat a shit load of food!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Go to Hell Ole Miss

2008-11-24T08:44:00.004-06:00

The game Saturday sucked. It was the worst game we could have chosen to go to. Boo! Oh well, we still managed to have fun this weekend, aside from the big loss. Food at the Chimes was great as usual, and Sunday Jacob smoked some venison that we got from Rob's buddy.

Tonite Rob and I will be heading to the Saints game. Hopefully it's not an embarrassing loss like the Tigers.

Yay

2008-11-21T11:23:00.002-06:00

So this week we made an asymmetrical arrangement. I really like this one and have it on my mantle.

Going to the Chimes tonite...and the game tomorrow. Cannot wait!

Staying Busy

2008-11-19T09:51:00.003-06:00

I haven't written in awhile because I've been trying to stay busy. I actually handle everything better when I know I have plans and stuff to look forward too.

I had a fun weekend. We went to the Kaplan game, unfortunately they lost but congrats to them for making it that far....it was an exciting game.

I never did post my flowers from last week. A nosegay bridal bouquet...so here it is:

Tonite I believe we are making some type of arrangement. I'll try and post a picture tomorrow.

I'm really looking forward to this weekend. Rob came through on the Ole Miss tickets so Rob, myself, Jacob and Chris will be going to the last homegame of the season. Really looking forward to that....especially because our seats are near the band. How fun!

Sushi!

2008-11-10T10:56:00.003-06:00

Jacob came to BR with me this weekend. We met up with Rob on Friday and had sushi. Delicious! We had the best time too. Built a fire outside that Shane would have been proud of!
I can't even talk about football though. Ugh Tigers...ugh Saints. No comment!

Kaplan High won on Friday and earned themselves a spot in the playoffs. They'll be playing Redemptorist in BR on Friday. I think we might go. Go Pirates!

Flowers of the Week

2008-11-06T10:31:00.002-06:00

Here's what I made in class this week.

And for those of you wondering, I did manage to replace most of what was burnt in my purse..including the cash! Yes!

Vote!

2008-11-04T14:44:00.003-06:00

Go out and vote today!

I did. I waited in line for almost 2 hours. The lines were crazy long here in Baton Rouge.

Should be a historic night.

Maggie started the fire!

2008-11-02T13:59:00.007-06:00

So Saturday Dad and Rob worked hard putting up a new fence at my house (I supervised). It took most of the day and when we were done I went inside to get Maggie so she could come outiside in her newly fenced in yard. As I walked in I saw a huge fireball on the stove. I panicked, screamed, and Rob came running and pushed the fireball into the trash and took it outside. (I had a fire extinguisher but nobody knew how to use it!). During all the commotion I couldn't imagine what it was that had caught on fire...until Rob dumped the contents out into the yard and I saw my keys. It was my purse. It was completely unidentifiable. Completely. It appears that Maggie jumped up and hit a knob turning the burner on. I foolishly put my purse on the stove and it caught fire. And it burnt to smithereens.
It burnt my cell phone...

the key to my jeep...(thank God Dad had brought the spare)

some cash money...

and lots of other stuff including my checkbook and wallet (credit cards and id). Ugh. AND, my microwave will need to be replaced since it's the type that sits above the stove and thus, the door melted. My cabinets were black but we were able to clean those up. Oh, and Blockbuster won't be getting back their copy of Don't Mess with the Zohan. whoops.

So I'll have a very busy day tomorrow getting all the replaced...especially my driver's license b/c I need it to vote on Tuesday.
Maggie did not get a beating since she is innocent until proven guilty but she did earn a permanent home in her kennel anytime she's alone!
I keep singing in my head "Maggie started the fire" . There was an episode of the Office where Ryan starts a fire in the breakroom and Dwight sings this..

Flower Power

2008-10-30T10:23:00.003-05:00

Last night was my first florist class. I've been having such a bad week I really didn't have any desire to go. Since I had already paid my tuition, I went.
The class was alot of fun. Here's what I made last night....

I know, can you believe I made that? I don't have a creative bone in my body. Glad I went though, it made me feel just a little bit better....and every little bit helps.

2008-10-27T11:22:00.005-05:00

Things haven't been easy lately. They say at about 6 months out, reality sets in. Its only been about 3 but I feel like the last 3 months he was here, he really wasn't here, if that makes sense. So I feel like it's been 6 months. They say that's when you finally realize that he's not coming home, you won't see him again, talk to him again, touch him again. When I say "they", I mean other widows/widowers. I was given lots of books, tons in fact. Haven't touched any of those. I prefer to hear it straight from those who've experienced it and I can't concentrate long enough to read a paragraph anyway.
This week especially has been hard. I think it's a combination of the weather (this was Shane's favorite time of year), getting the autopsy last week (I may post some info about this on the caringbridge site later) and just the fact that I miss him so bad. We were always together. The most time we spent apart were the 11 or so days he spent in Holland with Brian and Andy. Other than that, I can't remember being apart from him for longer than a day or so. Three months without talking to him has been brutal. Well I do still talk to him..the brutal part is him not talking back. I can't even begin to imagine the future without him....that's why they say one day at a time, I guess.

I'm going to plan a trip soon, to California, to visit Brandon. It was always on our list of things to do, but we never had enough time. It'll be bittersweet b/c I'm excited to go to San Diego and see Brandon, but I'm also devatstated that Shane can't come with me. Although, I guess in some way, maybe he will be with me.

Sad

2008-10-22T16:09:00.004-05:00

The adorable little boy I told you to watch over passed away yesterday.
His caringbridge site is here.
Please be thinking of his family. I know what they are feeling and every little bit of support helps.

I f'ing hate cancer.

Blah

2008-10-18T10:44:00.006-05:00

Not much going on. Been in a slump the last few days. Again, it's like that roller coaster feeling. Last weekend was fantastic, then those days are always followed by really tough days. I miss Shane more than ever. I like to think things are getting better. I'm able to function like normal most of the time. I applied for a part time job. If it works out, it could be the most perfect job ever. Three days a week (tues, wed, thurs), and really good pay. We'll see, don't want to jinx myself.

Plan on watching the LSU game later. Hopefully they put on a better show than last week.

Finalizing the sale of my jeep today too. Getting what I asked for it is great, still kinda sad to see it go. Just reminds me of how much my life has changed.

Saints tomorrow, hopefully another big win.

Oh, my clownfish laid eggs. Unfortunately, I didn't have the means to save them so I'm pretty sure they got eaten before they hatched. I know, it's terrible, but it's survival of the fittest in that tank!

Tattoo/New Orleans

2008-10-13T20:19:00.007-05:00

What a great, much needed weekend.
Started things off by going to the Chimes on Friday with Rob, Jacob and Chris. The food was great and we had the best time. I can't remember the last time I laughed as hard as I did that night.
Saturday morning Jacob, Chris and myself headed to New Orleans. We met up with Brian, Amy and Hayden and headed to the tattoo parlor (Electric Ladyland). They were able to take us early. On our way we stopped by to take a look at the Jolie/Pitt home. Amy and I posed in front for a picture!

The pain from the tattoo wasn't as bad as I thought, but that's not to say it didn't hurt like hell. It only took about 15 minutes though so it was over before I knew it. They basically just took the sketch from Shane's book and enlarged it a little...so it's Shane's exact sketch. I'm really excited about it. Brian got the same tattoo as me so his was also quick. Amy had hers done the night before. Chris and Jacob went next and there's also came out great. I can actually see myself getting another one!
After our tattoos we headed to the Quarter to eat and watch the LSU game. Lucas and Kerry met us there. We found a restaurant with a huge projection tv. We were all euphoric from our tattoos but the game was a bummer...not much else to say about it. We still had a good time though and headed back to the hotel for drinks in the lobby.

Sunday we were up bright and early and ready for the Saints game. Rob met up with us on Sunday (barely!). Luckily that game was a big win so we at least saw one game of decent football.
All in all a great weekend. Gives me hope that I can still have fun and not always be down in the dumps.

Go here to see all the other tattoos and even Shane's sketch.

2008-10-07T13:24:00.002-05:00

So, I went to the Saints Monday night football game last night. It was quite exciting, except for the fact that we lost! Still fun, none the less.
I stayed at my house in Baton Rouge all weekend. The more I stay there the more I think I'm going to sell it. I love the house but there is a huge void there that's never going to go away. Waking up in that house is pretty rough too. Every morning is hard, but waking up in that house is the worst. All signs point to moving. Now I just need to get motivated, and start fixing the place up and packing. Yuck. I did get to hang out with Andy, Rob and Chris while I was there though and that was fun.

I'm really looking forward to this weekend. A bunch of us are going to spend the weekend in New Orleans. Brian and Amy are coming down from Colorado to meet Jacob, Rob, Chris, Lucas, Kerry, Andy and myself in New Orleans. On Saturday we have appointments to get tattoos. Yes, tattoos! The majority of us are getting the same tattoo...something to represent Shane. Those of you who knew him well, knew he wanted tattoos...and lots of them. He never got the chance to get one b/c of blood count issues due to chemo treatments. We thought alot about what to get and I dug through some of his sketchbooks. I found a drawing he did quite often. I showed it to Brian and he said that Shane told him that was something he wanted to get for himself. That sealed the deal and so that's what we are getting. Its a spiral symbol that sort of resembles a sun. A mix of his whole obsession with the "golden section" and his Cherokee heritage. Brian sent it to the tattoo artists ahead of time so we'll see what they come up with. I've always wanted a tattoo but couldn't think of anything I'd want to put on my body permanently until now. I'm very excited and I'll be sure to take lots of pictures!
After the tattoos, we'll be watching LSU hopefully destroy Florida, then on Sunday we all have tickets to the Saints/Raiders game. Should be a fun filled weekend.

2 Months Today

2008-10-01T15:19:00.006-05:00

So today makes 2 months. I can't decide if the last few months have flown by or dragged. The funeral seems like ages ago, yet it seems like only yesterday Shane and I were fishing at the lake. Its so strange. I've been dreading today, as I'm sure I'll dread the first of every month, however, the anticipation of the day was worse than today turned out to be..if that makes sense.
I went to Walmart with Hannah today and figured while I was there I'd pick up some fresh flowers to put at the cemetary today. When I got home and put the flowers together, most of them were rotten! That's what I get for shopping at Walmart I guess. I did what I could with them and went put them out this afternoon.

This weekend I'll be working on the house. Hoping to bribe Adam into helping me put up a new fence. I'm sure if they money's right, he'll be willing. ha!

One other important thing: Michael.

Please keep the Sparkman family in your thoughts and prayers (or whatever it is you do). Their young son is battling the same exactly cancer and fungal infection that Shane had. His mom is a member of the lymphoma message board that I've been active on since '06 when Shane was first diagnosed. I can relate to what they are going through and I know they'll appreciate whatever thoughts/prayers/etc. that they can get.

Football

2008-09-28T20:50:00.003-05:00

I actually had a really nice weekend. On Saturday we watched the LSU game at my house. I cooked a roast (which turned out fabulous!) and had some friends over. I've never been one to cook, mostly because Shane loved to cook and was so good at it, however, I must have learned from watching because this roast would have made him proud.
Lucas, Kerry and I woke up early today to head to the Saints game. We met some friends there and had a really good time....and the Saints won, finally! We have season tickets this year, so I'm looking forward to going to more games.
It was one of the nicest weekends I've had in a long time. Definately missed Shane though.

Roller Coaster

2008-09-22T09:34:00.004-05:00

I've been telling my family and friends lately that I feel like my life is a roller coaster. I have good days and bad days, and they are completely unpredictable. For those of you that know me, I hate unpredictable. I like to know what is going to happen and prepare myself. Boy has my life changed, and I have zero control of it.
Shane left me in good hands though. My circle of friends have been so wonderful. Everyone has been perfect. No one knows what I am going through and no one knows how I'm supposed to act or what I'm supposed to do next. I love my friends because they don't judge me. They understand that this is a unique situation and they let me deal with it the best way I can. They are supportive when I need support, they make me laugh when I need to laugh. Best of all, they aren't afraid to talk about Shane. I love hearing stories about him...particularly funny stories. I love to be reminded about what a great person he was. I'm tired of all the bad stuff and I much prefer to talk about the good stuff. Cancer was brutal and I don't want to remember that part of our lives. I know I can't forget it, but we had many more years that were perfect and cancer free.

So, what am I doing right now? First off, I quit my job. They needed me back and I just wasn't ready. I was getting burnt out on audiology anyway so it's probably a good thing. I have enough saved that I can take it easy for awhile. Besides going through Shane's passing, I am also mentally exhausted from battling cancer with him for the last 2 years. No one can understand that unless you've been through it yourself.
I'm also trying to decide where I want to live. This has been the toughest part. Right now, I'm staying in between my house and my parents, and that's getting old. I love my house in BR but it hasn't been easy staying there. Shane's absence is overwhelming in the house, but it is getting better. Plus, I love my house there. However, my friends there are limited. Most of our family and friends live around Lafayette so I've also been considering a move there. I'm trying not to make a decision until I'm 100% positive.
I also looking for jobs and thinking about possibly going back to school. My life has completely been erased and now it's time to start from scratch. I hate it, but I don't have a choice.

Brian reminded me of some words of advice Shane always gave his friends and I try to live by those words of advice. "The first step in getting your head out of your ass is getting your head out of your ass" So funny, yet so true.
I know Shane would want me to live. It's been almost 2 months and I'm at a point now where I want to get out of the house. The benefit concert was my first big public outing. I was really nervous about going as I'm prone to panic attacks lately, but I had the best time. This weekend I think I'll go to the Saints game. We have season tickets after all.

So is it getting better? Maybe. I'll think that it is, then something out of the blue sets me off. I was at home the other day cleaning up. I went through some of Shane's old clothes and was able to throw some stuff away. No problem. Went to clean out the pantry and I lost it. Funny that spaghetti noodles made me cry, but his clothes didn't. Again, that's the unpredictability I was talking about. It completely sucks.

On a happier note, I'll leave you with a picture of Maggie in her Halloween costume. And to all my friends who have been such a big help lately, I love you!!!

Very Important!

2008-09-17T18:22:00.004-05:00

Shane was in the process of getting a stem cell transplant. We never did find out who his donor would have been but there is a chance his siblings would not have been. I met a man at MD Anderson who's wife had 10 siblings and none were a match for a transplant. When that happens, Dr's look to the national bone marrow registry.

I strongly encourage any of you who can to do this. I joined this week. They send you a kit in the mail, you swab the inside of your cheeks and mail it in. If someone later on needs you, you are called and fly out to the hospital where the person is and donate either stem cells or marrow. You can be sedated for this so it's a painless procedure. There is no reason any healthy individual should not do this. You can save someone's life!

To join, go here. Normally you have to pay to join (it was $50) but until Sept 22 it's free to join. Why not help someone out?

Dreams

2008-09-16T10:04:00.002-05:00

Brian said when you dream about a lost loved one it's like a double edge sword. You get to be with that person again, but when you wake up, reality sets in hard. Boy is that the case. Last night I dreamt about Shane. I've only dreamt about him a few times. In 2 of those dreams he was actually there and in the others we were talking on the phone. Either way, when I wake up from these dreams, I feel like I've been hit with a ton of bricks.

When Rob lost his dog Max back in May, Shane had a dream about Max. Rob was jealous because he wanted to dream about Max and he hadn't. Shane told him that Max probably knew Rob couldn't handle it yet and that soon enough he would dream about him. Sure enough, Rob had a dream of Max running happily on a beach. I think that's probably why I've had so few dreams of Shane. Before all this, he was always part of my dreams. Maybe he knows how hard it is to dream about him now and maybe I'm not ready. The first dream I had of him was about a week after he died. I dreamt I was at my mom's house with Lucas and Kerry. Shane just showed up and walked right in. He looked like his old self, pre-cancer days. We were shocked and I remember Kerry kept trying to take his temperature to make sure he was ok. I took this dream to mean that he was ok, wherever he is now.

Success!

2008-09-15T23:20:00.004-05:00

So the benefit concert on Saturday was a huge success. I know I had a great time and I think everyone else did too. I really needed that. The bands were great and I can't thank them enough for participating! I want to thank everyone involved because I really appreciated everything.

I want to post more pictures but of course, I forgot my camera. So if anyone has any, send them my way.

Take a moment and visit some of the bands that participated. Cracker Jackson, The Specklers, Evil Empire, The Blue Eclipse, Masondown & Coldshock. Go out and support them!

Jiu Jitsu in the Sky

2008-09-10T16:21:00.002-05:00

One of Shane's favorite MMA athletes, Evan Tanner, passed away this week. I like to think that they met up and are practicting jiu jitsu now.

Surviving Gustav!

2008-09-06T12:01:00.009-05:00

So I stayed in BR for the storm along with some friends. Storm started out as a dud but quickly became pretty intense.

Luckily my house fared very well compared to most of my neighborhood. I lost my fence and some shingles. Otherwise, things are fine. Still have some cleaning up to do...gonna do that tomorrow.

Thanks to some creative ingenuity, we were able

to save the 70gal salt water aquarium. After 12 hours without power, the fish were starting to struggle. We plugged up Jacob's tire air pump into my jeeps cigarette lighter, connected some medical tubing to that and ran it into the tank. Voila! Air for the fish! After 2 days Jacob bought a generator from some

guys on the side of the road and the tank was good to go. No casualties. Power came back on Thursday night. Now praying Ike doesn't come anywhere near here!

We basically just ate, drank beer, napped and played UNO by candlelight for those few days. So glad to have electricity again, as most of BR still does not.

These pictures are of some damage around my neighborhood and one of Chris and Jacob in the street during what

was probably a 80mph wind gust. haha

The rest of the pictures can be viewed here.

Orchids!

2008-08-28T10:04:00.005-05:00

So some of you may know about Shane and Maria's "addiction" to orchids. It was like a competition between the 2 of them on who could have the most, the most unique, etc.

Orchids are very funny plants and difficult to take care of. Shane had about 30 of them and of those only one plant bloomed a 2nd time. Its very hard to get them to do that.

When Shane got sick again in May, we gave all of his orchids to his best friend Jacob (I couldn't take care of them being my thumb is the exact opposite of green).

So now the competition has begun between Maria and Jacob.

This picture here is one of Maria's orchids. Right after Shane passed away, it made these buds. We like to think he had something to do with it. She's got one other plant that looks like it will make flowers too.

The battle has begun!

2008-08-25T15:47:00.000-05:00

Maggie says Hello and that she's doing okay!